Culture Shock Analysis

If someone were to ask me about how I was doing in respect to culture shock, I’d say pretty good. I'm definitely not still in the honeymoon phase, because that lasted three days. I am also not at rock bottom. Although I know that I can’t honestly say that I have recovered either, it is bearable and unnoticeable most of the time. Every once in a while I'll do something and it's obviously culturally different because someone will tell me – in the Dominican, we do it this way. But I am comfortable here. I am still surprised by the great poverty outside of the orphanage gates, but I never want to become blind to need. So, thinking this over, I thought I was doing pretty well. But that's just the problem. I'm doing pretty well, by myself. When I was at rock bottom, of course I depended on God. The days felt like weeks long and I definitely didn't want to try and make it alone. It was common to read twenty chapters of my Bible a day. But right now, my Bible is just sitting on my shelf. Not always. I still carry it with me, but I managed to rearrange my priorities. I can justify it in my mind because for the most part, I'm pretty busy. And I am busy doing things for God right? But here I go again with the thin pages in my hands. Even if I think I can make it through this day, and then I'll get back to him tomorrow, I can't. To me, this was the biggest sign that I was recovering from culture shock. Not my ability to eat all of the food, or the fact that I can remove the cockroach from my toothbrush and still brush my teeth. The fact that I am not as lonely and out of place in this land, that I am able to forget to read my Bible. Everyday I wait for a letter to arrive, but here I have a whole book of them that have all the words I need to hear. I encourage everyone else to try it again too. I'm in Luke if you want to join me. :-)

Early Morning Rendition

This morning I discovered my greatest weakness: beautiful music played by amazing boys. :-) At five 'o clock this morning I woke up to a boy playing his cello outside of my window. He played three or four really pretty songs and then ended with "Happy Birthday." Wow! I would love to wake up that way every day. The cello definitely beats the obnoxious pounding on my door that I have become accustomed to. And I have to admit that I love being serenaded early in the morning. It was a great start to my day. It didn’t prevent the often occurrences of misunderstandings in my classes, the common cheating on tests, and even the teeth marks one of my students left on my arm, but it reminded me to be happy.

My Birthday – 20!

Today is one of those days in my life that I never want to forget. The smiles on the kids faces, the loud singing, their gifts and cards, and the thousands of pictures.

When I woke up this morning, I was excited. I curled my hair, wore a cute headband, and chose to be happy, regardless. It worked for a while. We even had my favorite breakfast: cream of wheat with cloves.

But by the time I had reached school, I was discouraged. I knew that although it was my birthday, it would be different. How is it that I always assume that different means bad?

I was missing my family and the pictures of them scattered throughout my Bible didn't help. I had to work hard to fight back tears during the teachers' meeting. A quick walk around the building and some hugs along the way cured me. I would just pretend that it wasn't my birthday and then the day wouldn't dissappoint me. And I played this game for almost an hour. I just eliminated all expectations.

I had my 6th grade class first and as I walked to the classroom I said a quick prayer. I couldn't handle a repeat of Thursday's class. When I got to the door it was locked, I knocked and heard the kids running around and whispering. After the class went quiet, the door opened. Inside sat the sweetest looking class all sitting with their hands folded on their desks. Before long they were all singing a loud rendition of "Happy Birthday." And then another song and another. They crowded around me holding me tight. Then they pulled out juice and a large pan of cornbread/cake. We sat and ate laughing and talking quickly in a foreign language. Thankfully I had thought to bring my camera and I now have hundreds of adorable pictures of my students. Even my most difficult student who loves to ignore me was not far behind the others. He wanted his fair share of pictures with me as well. By the time the excitement had died down, we just learned some birthday words and made cards. It was great. For once I had the perfect balance with my students. Teacher, but friend.

Then I had 5th grade and they were equally excited. They had many presents for me. Plastic roses and chocolate and stuffed animals. So sweet. Yessica made me a large bowl of Jello/gelatina which I ate with a smile. The random bugs were just decorations. :-)

It feels like the day should be over by now, but the fun just keeps going. Thanks to Kayla’s classes, I randomly get mobbed by lots of kids with cards.

It's been a different day. There hasn't been cake, but I’ve had homemade food from my students with extra love. No large presents, but instead hand-me-down toys that the kids gave up for me. No fancy Hallmark cards, but instead adorable construction paper cards in Spanglish. It seems pretty obvious that this birthday beats all the others. :-)

Happy twenty years to me!

First Day of Fall

My favorite season is finally here! Well actually, it isn’t here in the Dominican Republic, but all of you are getting to experience it so I am happy for you. Here it is pretty sticky and hot day after day. I only remembered the date of the first day because I noticed it on my calendar. But nonetheless it was fun to daydream of what I would do if by some chance it was here as well. Here are my favorite fall activities. Feel free to borrow my list this season. I won’t be needing it.

• Drink caramel apple cider
• Wear a cute scarf
• Spend the day at the park
• Enjoy the crisp air
• Have a bonfire
• Study at a coffee shop
• See old friends and talk about summer
• Enjoy the colorful leaves
• Read a book with a blanket
• Start school
• Bake a pie

There are many more but these are my favorites. Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying my favorite season. :)

Hugs and Tears

I am not feeling so well right now. It’s not a result of the funny food I had for dinner, or the homesickness that I’ve become accustomed to. Tonight at “cancha” or games, I was reminded of why I am here. Two of my students and their younger sister were really fighting for my attention. They are new to the orphanage within the last two weeks. Anyways, they were getting to the point that I was slightly annoyed. I couldn’t hold them all at the same time and they were in no way wanting to share. Before long I had one of them crying in my arms. I didn’t know what I had to offer. My Spanish is hard enough to understand in the most perfect situation and in between sobs definitely doesn’t count. Somehow, we managed to come to a conclusion of what the problem was, and then I just wanted to cry. These children had visited their sick mother this morning and from what I could catch, there isn’t a lot more to be done. Obviously that is why they are now living at an orphanage, but it just doesn’t seem fair. I wiped away tears, rocked another, and sang a lullaby to the third. But how does one comfort children who will soon be without parents? As I walked them home tonight I felt so needed and so helpless all at the same time. As I leaned down to give a goodnight hug to Luis, he whispered to me, “I’ll dream of my mom and flowers tonight. Thank you.” How do they do it? Live through such pain and still recognize the good in the world?

Keep these little ones in your prayers. It will probably get harder before it gets better. It feels good to be needed because that is why I am here, but watching them in pain knowing that there is nothing I can do to take it away is hard to do. All I can do is pray and show that I care. So that is what I do.

Just a Few Pictures and a Thought Inbetween

Life is going well. I continue to adjust to the customs of this foreign land. In fact I don't know that I can call it foreign for much longer. I crave the food - yuca is amazing, and I even drink hot chocolate when it is 75 degrees or more. I love my kids in my classroom regardless of their discipline issues and I look forward to each hug. The language learning is slow, but my sign language and sound effects are improving. God is good and I can't complain. Keep me in your prayers because each day has its challenges but I am thankful for each of those new days. God bless.

Romans 12:1-2 (Message)

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out."

Frogs Are Not Princes

The week is finally almost over and I can’t wait. It is always an exciting moment when I leave my last class on Friday. Don’t get me wrong. I love the kids and I definitely give my share of hugs and kisses, but a classroom full of them is worthy of a survivor challenge. Anyways, in the few moments I have, a quick story.

Yesterday I had my first frog experience. For some reason, everyone here is deathly afraid of frogs. They refuse to be in the same room. Luckily for me, Kayla always saves the day and gracefully removes the frog from the vicinity. However, yesterday she was teaching class when a frog showed up in the library. I had a boy walk up to me shyly and ask me if I was afraid of frogs. Just a little background – I’d never touched one before in my life. But being the brave person I want to be, I said no. He proceeded to hold out a clock with a frog sitting on it. I took in a deep breath and proceeded to do all I knew how to move the frog toward the door. I took it a few steps before it jumped onto a new object. I picked it up and kept walking. I made it through about three objects and was pretty close to the door. Then it jumped on my leg. It was a little startling, but I was okay. Until it started jumping higher and higher on my leg to the point that it was in my skirt. Everyone was watching me because I was the crazy white girl that would touch frogs, so I couldn’t just lift up my skirt and get it. After a bit of a dance, the frog found its new home outside of the library, and I was a hero. I just hope Kayla’s there for me next time. :-)

Well, I have to go, but I hope everyone is doing well. I’ll keep you updated on any following frog adventures.

~Ashley~

New Posts!

Brent here again... Ashley e-mailed me a few more posts and they're now up. (They're the three posts below this one.) I'm back-dating them to the date Ashley wrote them. For those of you who check infrequently, you won't know the difference. For those who check more often or use RSS, that's why you just now are seeing posts dated a few days ago.

It's been about six days since Ashley last had Internet access -- it felt like a very long time to me and that's even after talking to her on the phone.

Feel free to comment on this blog. Even though Ashley may not be able to read your comments daily, they will be there for her to read later.

Suzi and I are working on getting the correct mailing and shipping addresses. The mailing address we have right now is in Santa Domingo. Ashley had told us that mail could takes weeks or more. That didn't make sense when the US post office told us that the mail should arrive within about a week. It all became clear when Ashley reminded us that Santa Domingo is about 1.5 hours away and stated, "I don't think anyone's been there since I got here." D'oh!

Let me know if you want updates on addresses, etc. I'll be sending out those updates by e-mail.

-Brent

Feel Loved, Eat Beans!

If you are wondering why you should feel loved, it's this: if I know you, and you know me, chances are I miss you. :) I hope you feel miserable for making me sad. Ha ha.

Anyways, yesterday I wrote about my culture shock "recovery." That was a wonderful thought, but it was slightly premature. For dinner tonight we had what looked like a thick hot chocolate. We'd had something similar previously and I was actually pretty excited. It was cold here in comparison to other days so a warm drink with chocolate as one of the ingredients was quite a deal. However, it didn't taste quite right. Half way through our drinks one of the girls asked us if we knew what it was. I really regret having asked. I soon found out that I was drinking something hot made of blended/boiled beans, powdered milk, water, sugar, and cloves. That would explain the thick texture of bean skins throughout the drink. Our sisters were impressed that we were drinking it and kept saying that we were African now instead of American, but I have to say that it was probably the most revolting thing I've eaten before. If you ever want to try it I could probably get you the recipe. ;)

Anyways, today was also a hard day in my 6th grade class. Mondays are always hard days because I teach four classes back to back and 6th grade was my third. I am embarrassed to even try and explain the complete chaos of my classroom, but try and understand that there was nothing I could do. The room looked like this: a girl and boy in a physical fight in one corner of the room; two more boys holding the door closed with a third locked outside; another boy refusing to attend class and swinging outside the window; not to mention the boy refusing to put back on his shirt. I had already taken away recess, two desks, and my Spanglish was not cutting it. I tried to take one boy to the principal's office but chasing him in circles outside was not improving my control of the class. I finally walked to the office alone and stood there looking completely defeated. One of the other teachers had a free period and was quick to help me. Thank God for Richard. He put back on the boy's shirt, re-situated the desks, retrieved my missing students, said some magic words, and class was back underway.

Now I just had to keep the class under control for the remaining 25 minutes. Easy right? My director randomly decided that it would be a good day to sit in on my class and evaluate my teaching style and progress with the students. Luckily, she arrived just as I had the class under control, but I don't know if I have ever felt so exhausted after a 30 minute class. It took all of my strength to walk out of the classroom. I'm already counting down my classes until the weekend. Just 12 more. I'll definitely need your prayers.

Unless by some fluke I change my mind, I know that I couldn't be a teacher for life. Ten days and I can only make it by counting down one day at a time. God help me. Give me the words. Saying "no mas" only works so many times. It would be great if I could talk to my students withouts spending minutes thinking of each sentence, and then still saying it wrong. But tomorrow is three weeks in a foreign land and I'm still alive. Perhaps a clothes size smaller from the small rations of food, but no new bug bites in a week and only 3 large spiders, 33 lizards, and 5 frogs.

Thank you God. Continue to keep us safe and relying on you. Amen

Ashley

More of My Life - Blessings and Challenges

I just hung up with my family and it was one of those really difficult moments of my week. It's hard to know that when I say goodbye, the other line goes silent and that's it. I'd like to pick up the phone and call back, but in the end it wouldn't do me any good because I would just have to say goodbye again with an even larger phone bill.

My concept of money and importance has already changed in just the three weeks I've been here. Part of me saves my money even better than before. For example, I splurged today when I bought a 30 cent bottle of pop. However, I'd also spend more than I ever thought possible in order to talk to those that I love. Overall, I think it has been a good change. :)

I am trying to think of what else is new in my life, but for the most part living here has become a routine. I am hoping that means that the culture shock is taking its course and almost over. ;) It's unlikely but it would be nice.

I now crave such foods as papaya and yuca. They were on the top of my gag list when I got here. I also wore jeans all day today. I am afraid that means I have also adjusted to the temperatures considering it was probably 90 at some point today and we don't have air conditioning. I enjoy watching the different creatures that crawl in through the front windows and I even called the large lizard cute today. There are only a few bugs that I won't just squish with my bare hands and walking around barefoot in the dark doesn't worry me anymore. I consider a class that I am in control for 20% of the time a good class and even after a hard day I am more than willing to give my share of hugs to difficult kids. Waking up with a bed net plastered to my face is normal, and I no longer need a wake up call to be up by 5:30. I've really learned to appreciate candles and sometimes I prefer them to the bright lights. I don't know that I look forward to my cold showers, but I can't remember what a warm one felt like. I've now worked up the ability to sit on a solid wood bench for three hours without being in to much pain and sometimes I even get caught up in the sermon. Does that mean I actually understand some of the gibberish?

Either way, I'd have to say that things are looking up. A speed bump here or there is really just a large cockroach and I always have my Bible and your prayers. Thank you so much for all of the support. For anyone that would like to join in, Kayla and I pray at 10 AM and 9 PM together so if you all want to pray at the same time that’s 7 AM and 6 PM Pacific time. We thought it could be kind of fun.

I hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully someday the internet will come back from it's vacation (that's what they call it) and I'll be able to better communicate. But I'd still love to here from you. Any reminder of home still makes my day. God bless.

Ashley - 16 days till my birthday, not that I’m counting or anything ;)

Random Moments in My Life

I've been at a loss for words the last few days. Most obviously because I don't speak Spanish near well enough to say anything profound. Then secondly, because when I do speak in English, I am busy trying to figure out how I can translate it into Spanish. Between both of these problems, I’ve managed to become a really good listener. In fact, I really like it when people repeat every thought three or four times. :-) Anyways, I apologize if this entry is poorly put together and contains many grammatical errors, because it's likely, but my life is just that way right now. But anyhow, some random moments in my week:

1. I know that I’ve been here too long when I step on a rather large cockroach while teaching, and my train of thought is – "Would it be distracting to move it outside?" and then I decide to continue to teach around it because so far the students haven’t noticed its hissing and flying stunts.


2. I know that I am hungry when I get excited about a sandwich for dinner. Now you need to understand that this sandwich was made of bread and mayonnaise. We added the mayo for some extra needed calories.


3. I got to sleep in this morning! A whole extra hour and some. 6:40 AM.


4. I started taking cello lessons this week. I always thought a string instrument would be pretty challenging, so I’m not quite sure what I was thinking when I signed up with my Spanish speaking teacher. At least now I can debate which is worse: my cello playing or my Spanish pronunciation.


5. The internet really is temperamental here. So far it doesn't work if: it's cloudy (90% of the time), if it's in the afternoon (apparently it takes a siesta too), if it has rained much in the last few days, or if the electricity is being difficult (at least 25% of the time). It makes it hard to predict when it will actually work, but the safest guess is that it won't. The last time I tried, my first page loaded at 30 minutes. I am really working on the whole patience thing.


6. I've started studying out of a Spanish textbook. If I read it for two hours a day, I should finish two years of Spanish by Christmas. They are convinced I'll be fluent by then. I sure hope so. I really don't enjoy my new form of sign language – a smile for when I don’t understand, and a laugh for when I zoned out after the long word.


7. I successfully finished my second week of school and I have more unbelievable stories about my students than I expected in a whole year. Most of the time it takes me awhile to take it all in because I am just standing there thinking, is this really happening? For example – I accidentally kicked a boy hiding under my desk this week. Oops. The boy that I thought was getting his paper out, was actually sleeping with his head in his backpack. I have another boy that pretends to die every day hoping I will send him home sick. Then there is always the group of students that finds it funny to switch seats so that it is nearly impossible to learn their names. Apparently fist fights are common occurrences during the middle of class, and the Spanish vocab I am learning is very classroom specific. "Sit down, listen to me, no more, look here, quiet." All very important words.

I never appreciated my washing machine enough before. My wrists are still sore from trying to wring out my jeans after hand washing them. The soap alone does wonderful things to my hands, but it's the scrubbing and drying that's really exciting. For some reason, watching the missionaries do their laundry is pretty entertaining here. It might have something to do with the fact that we end up pretty soaked and laughing at everything. There must be less oxygen during such activities.

That pretty much sums up my week. Long, adventurous, and full of surprises. I am more than ready for the weekend. I've been reading my Bible lots trying to stay sane and I really loved Psalms 139:7-10.

"Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

I'd love to hear how everyone is doing. I miss you all and waking up with a bed net stuck to my face is a constant reminder that I’m not at home. Keep me in your prayers. Feliz Semana – Happy Week.

Teacher Ashley

Why am I here?

The other day when I was talking to Melissa, she asked me why I was even here? At the time I couldn’t answer. I had to be honest and say I didn’t know. That was really discomforting. Only a week into my year and I had already lost my focus and purpose. Of course there are my selfish reasons of wanting to learn Spanish and hoping to make a difference along the way, but that’s not good enough. I’ve been rolling it around in my head since, and I finally feel peace again. I’m not here to start a church, heal a thousand ailments, or perfect the system of this orphanage called home. Perhaps I am here to do something even more important if that’s possible.

I’m here to:

• Accept the flowers from a little girl with a smile even when they make me sneeze
• To play the hokey-pokey with a group of highschool students
• Receive a hug around my knees from a hurting little boy
• Translate letters of hope and encouragement from sponsers
• Hold the hand of a child I have yet to learn the name of
• Listen to a complete conversation in jibberish and to still understand in my heart
• Know when to laugh, when to cry, and when to do both at the same time
• Live as an orphan and understand the pain, hunger, and lonliness of such a life
• Teach the 5 students out of 45 that actually want to learn
• And to love the others with an unexplainable love
• Appreciate what I had knowing that I can’t ever live that way again
• Accept the ways of the people without judgement
• Recognize my failures without limiting myself
• Realize that I have a new lesson to learn every day to come!

On the surface I may be here to teach English to 5th through 8th grade in the mornings, music in the afternoons, and English to the adults in the evening. But the surface is deceiving. When I look deeper the small details add color to the picture that I wouldn’t want to live without.

Dear God, help me to aim for the full picture, but to take the time to focus on the details as well. As long as you can see the whole picture, I need not worry about tomorrow. What a relief. I remind myself hourly. Thank you for your acceptance in my failures. Thank you for picking me up again. Help me to never lose this dependence on you. Amen.

Matthew 10:42 – “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."

My Life as a Missionary

• A chalk streak across my skirt, And wet hair still clinging to my neck
• One child hugging me, And Another trying my patience
• A cow outside my window, And a dog up on my roof
• A Spanish/English dictionary in one hand, And a Bible in the other
• A candle as my light source, And a mosquito net for protection
• A wake up call at 5:30, And a “Buenas Noches” in the end
• A laugh for when I understand, And a smile for when I don’t
• A mashed, boiled banana for breakfast, And another with yuca for dinner
• A flying cockroach to wake me up, And a lightning bug to put me to sleep
• A list of memories from my past, And a list of dreams for my future
• The blessing of today, And the hope for another tomorrow

My Dental Floss Diaries

Who could have known that my last minute purchase of dental floss would be so useful during my year away. Looking around my room I kind of like the additions it has created. First and most importantly, is the bug net hanging from my ceiling. The night I arrived, we were exhausted and it was late. However, after seeing the large spider we were anxious to hang my bed net. We were content to simply rotate the bed under the window and string the net up to an old, bent curtain rod. It only took seven times of this rod falling onto our heads with a smothering bed net before we decided we needed a change. We felt like we were on a survivor show as we searched our room for a better option. Of course we tried the obvious option of nailing it to the ceiling like suggested on the bag, however a solid concrete surface is pretty hard to work with. This being the only suggestion on the bag, we were left to figure it out on our own. We made a list of anything that could possibly be of use to us. Our options really were limited and the dental floss won. We excitedly drew a design plan on our little white board and set to work. We knew that we wanted to hang it from some combination of triangles. Luckily, there were three objects already in the room that we could attach the floss to: a rusty, old nail, a fuse box that has caught on fire at least once, and our ceiling light not completely secured to the ceiling. With these three points, three hours, and tripled up lines of dental floss, we now sleep without wondering when the net will next suffocate us. I can’t explain the 33 bug bites on my legs, but we sure are proud of our success. :)