Hugs and Tears

I am not feeling so well right now. It’s not a result of the funny food I had for dinner, or the homesickness that I’ve become accustomed to. Tonight at “cancha” or games, I was reminded of why I am here. Two of my students and their younger sister were really fighting for my attention. They are new to the orphanage within the last two weeks. Anyways, they were getting to the point that I was slightly annoyed. I couldn’t hold them all at the same time and they were in no way wanting to share. Before long I had one of them crying in my arms. I didn’t know what I had to offer. My Spanish is hard enough to understand in the most perfect situation and in between sobs definitely doesn’t count. Somehow, we managed to come to a conclusion of what the problem was, and then I just wanted to cry. These children had visited their sick mother this morning and from what I could catch, there isn’t a lot more to be done. Obviously that is why they are now living at an orphanage, but it just doesn’t seem fair. I wiped away tears, rocked another, and sang a lullaby to the third. But how does one comfort children who will soon be without parents? As I walked them home tonight I felt so needed and so helpless all at the same time. As I leaned down to give a goodnight hug to Luis, he whispered to me, “I’ll dream of my mom and flowers tonight. Thank you.” How do they do it? Live through such pain and still recognize the good in the world?

Keep these little ones in your prayers. It will probably get harder before it gets better. It feels good to be needed because that is why I am here, but watching them in pain knowing that there is nothing I can do to take it away is hard to do. All I can do is pray and show that I care. So that is what I do.